Aug 15, 2017 | Social Living Solutions
Assisting special needs children to become less anxious and more focused through Mindfulness meditation practice.
Mindfulness meditation calms and trains the mind to stay in the moment.
This is of great benefit to our ASD, ADHD, ADD children and others who suffer from anxiety. This is because regular practice of mindfulness meditation trains your brain to recognise random thoughts as they come into the mind. Mindfulness meditation trains the brain to view these random thoughts as if they are “clouds passing through the sky.” This allows the mind not to become overburdened with a whole mass of thoughts at any one time but to able to filter out and only have an awareness of the thoughts that are relevant to the current moment.
This aids to prevent the individual from ruminating or getting caught up in a cycle of anxiety and anxiety provoking thoughts.
We have all heard of mindfulness, however few of us would have a true understanding of what it means and the benefits the practice can allow the individual.
Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way – paying attention on purpose, in the present moment and non-judgmentally of one’s own thoughts. Mindfulness is a meditation practice that begins with paying attention to the breath in order to focus on the here and now. This is so that the mind is not ruminating on what might have been or what an individual is worried about what could be. The goal is to give an individual the tools to recognise disturbing thoughts and emotions and to be able to observe them without immediately reacting to them.
Mindfulness allows the mind to create conditions for contentment. The mind learns to focus on the present moment and observe the world and it’s thoughts in a non-judgmental way.
For our peers with special needs this is of great benefit as it provides a way of training the mind to focus and stay in the moment. Staying in the moment prevents one’s mind from ruminating going over past and possible future events. Therefore, providing a calmness and serenity within an individual.
Some individuals need specific help to regulate their emotions. Teaching them mindfulness meditation helps them to regulate and understand their emotions.
The great benefit of mindfulness meditation and working with children individually is I that I can tailor what I am offering them and what will work best for them.
The first thing I teach them is an awareness of the breath. I explain to them how there is a quiet stillness within the breath and that, that stillness is always with you; even when we are sad, angry, excited, happy or frustrated. I teach them how to feel this stillness within the breath within their bodies. For the children, it becomes an experience where they are aware of what they are feeling. They can then learn to observe their thoughts and feelings.
This then provides them to be able to move forward from this teaching and choose their behaviours.
Mindfulness meditation decreases anxiety and helps to improve attention. It teaches children to be less emotionally reactive and more able to handle the daily challenges of life.
If you would like to learn more about mindfulness meditation and other tools can benefit your child please do not hesitate to contact me for an obligation free discussion on 0420973042 or contact me on jpnfalcetta@gmail.com
Mar 8, 2017 | Social Living Solutions
Empowerment.
This is a word that is used a lot. In my work as a Global Ambassador for Taryn Brumfitt’s “Body Image Movement”, we constantly talk about empowering girls and women to love and embrace their bodies.
When I look at the parallels of this movement and trying to achieve the same goals for our special needs children and individuals, I wonder how we can empower them to embrace their differences and love themselves.
To be on the ‘autistic spectrum’, have ‘dyslexia’ or ‘ADD’, are still labels that carry a stigma. And this is shocking, considering that 1 in 68 children have autism and 1 in 10 have ADD! There are some conditions such as dysgraphia and dyspraxia where there are no tangible statistics yet.
Going back to my statement that it is a label that carries a stigma, I know from my clients who are high functioning autistic or ADHD or ADD, that the children themselves do not want their peers to know and their parents do not want their children’s friends and families to know.
Not only do these children have all of the learning and social challenges that these conditions impose on them, but they also feel shame and are trying to hide it. The amount of pressure on them is incredible.
How as a society are we empowering our children or adolescents at all? There are young girls and boys with image issues who feel ashamed and hate themselves, because of different physical attributes of their bodies that they have no control over. There are LGBTQI children who also feel shame, self-loathing, hatred, confusion and believe they are a burden to their families.
Then there are our many special needs kids (from mild special needs to severe), who also have the same feelings of guilt, shame, self-loathing, hatred of themselves and belief that they are a burden to their families.
So I ask again: how are we empowering our children?
Mar 8, 2017 | Social Living Solutions
I ended my last blog with: “As a society we care too much about other people’s ideas of what is and what is not appropriate, rather than the effect our actions and behaviour will have on the ones we should love and support the most.”
For all my life I have been a strong advocate of accepting others – regardless of sexuality, ethnicity or religion. This also extends to those with disability.
I question why there are always media articles and press related to the causes of autism, ADD and ADHD, such as articles about new research that suggests there could somehow be a “cure” for these conditions.
I recently came across an article about autism, in which an individual commented that it’s like what happened with homosexuality – people were (and some still are) trying to find a cure! Homosexuality is now more widely accepted, though I acknowledge not totally, as part of human diversity. So I ask: why is autism, ADD and ADHD not seen in the same light?
Why are we constantly making these individuals feel as if there is something wrong with them and that there is something to cure? Why do we not simply support them and make them feel comfortable in their diversity, and nurture the strengths and gifts they have to offer?
As well as a general lack of acceptance is the guilt that is dished out via the media and social platforms to mothers. I recently read an article that there are direct links between vitamin D deficiency in pregnancy and autism. At the time I thought, “Do mothers really need anything more to feel guilty about, or to worry that perhaps they could have prevented their child having autism!?”
At times it appears that we are too quick to criticise and chastise those with these “conditions”, rather than accepting them and giving them the support they need to feel like valued members of society. We make them feel that they have a “condition” to be cured, rather than just accepting their differences.
When these reports come out in the media, I see individuals with autism whose self-esteem and self-worth is strongly affected. It further adds to their feelings of inadequacy and belief that they are a burden to their families. All these media reports do is fuel the idea that these are conditions to be cured like diseases.
When you consider that individuals with ADD, ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia and other similar conditions have a high propensity for mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, why is it OK to make them feel more inadequate, anxious and depressed with these reports?
These individuals need to be given the support they need to feel empowered; to know that they are valuable members of society with much to contribute through their strengths, rather than focussing on their weaknesses.
Nov 30, 2016 | Social Living Solutions
If you have it (Autism) mildly, you are at the awkward mid-point of being “normal enough” for everyone to expect the same from you as everyone else, but “autistic” enough not to reach these expectations.
Chris Bonelli – autisticnotweird.com
Reading this got me thinking; when a child is “mildly autistic’, or in the old DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) has “Aspergers”, their family, friends, and others would not necessarily know – unless the child and his/her parents decide to share the knowledge.
This then places the individual with “mild autism” sometimes in situations of extreme stress and dilemma. Occasionally even their immediate family can “forget” or overlook that the person has autism. This is because most of the time the person is functioning well. They may only experience sensory “overloads” when they are extremely tired, hungry or over-exposed to the stimuli that causes the sensory overload.
This often leads to situations where the person’s family gets annoyed with them, and can cause frustration for the person on the autistic spectrum and the rest of his/her immediate family.
For example, the family may go out to dinner with their extended family who may or may not know that the individual has autism. The child who is “mildly autistic” is particularly tired and hungry when they arrive at the restaurant but they have failed to communicate this to their parents.
When deciding what to order, the child asks for a particular favourite item on the menu that everyone likes. The mother, knowing that her autistic child really likes this item, orders what she thinks is ample for everyone plus additional for her child.
Well into the meal, the item has been demolished by everyone. The child then has a meltdown and starts crying stating how they only got to have one portion and how they had in their mind that they were going to have three.
The mother, who is embarrassed, reacts by chastising her child and makes her child feel as if she is disappointed in them. This then leads to a further meltdown by the child who then makes comments to the effect of how they are not good enough and how stupid they are.
This is an all too common scenario. The child’s self-esteem is now affected, as children on the spectrum often have low self-esteem and feelings of anxiety and depression.
This is a real concern when individuals are “mildly autistic”, even though the parents generally will be really well informed and supportive of their child. Naturally for the mother, other factors come into play such as the tolerance and tiredness levels she is experiencing at the time, and any other external stresses.
What I find interesting is when a child is at this “mild end” of the spectrum and have “high executive functioning” how easy it is to forget that the individual has autism at all. Then depending on the individual’s day, levels of tiredness and exposure to overwhelming sensory stimuli, their nervous system may be put into “overdrive” and the smallest incident will set them off into a full meltdown. This can lead to depression anxiety for the individual where they self-doubt and self-loathe.
I then wonder why do we expect our children on the spectrum to be the models of excellence around age-appropriate maturity, when we ourselves often choose age-inappropriate behaviour, interests or activities? Even in this example, the mother chastising her child in such a way that the child knows the mother is disappointed in them – rather than the mother focusing on the behaviour and commenting on what she did not like about the behaviour (rather than the individual). The mother’s reaction will have a profound effect on her child’s self-esteem and confidence.
As a society we care too much about other people’s ideas of what is and is not appropriate in regards to behaviour, rather than the effect our actions and behaviour will have on the ones we should love and support the most.
